Friday, April 10, 2009

Now Sounds of Laughter ...

I marvel at the resilience of children. What started this morning as an emotional, in-depth, tear-filled, heart-felt discussion on how each of them can have their needs met has morphed into a raucous, laughing free-for-all, with bits of singing thrown in for good measure.

So this tells me that all those endless hours (days? years?) of conversation, mediation, and "let's work out the problem for the best of all" were worth it. As much as we all grumble during those conversations because we know it's good for us in the long run (much like kale), we all secretly enjoy them too--for the simple fact that life is better on the other side.

Were I a parent who "laid down the law" or "put my foot down," life would be much harder in the long run. My goal is to give my kids the tools for living life to the fullest, not simply make rules for them to follow. (Granted, that would definitely be easier for me in the short run, but I cringe at the effects over the long haul.)

While we all find confrontation as we go about our lives--whether it's in school, in our careers, or in our relationships--my kids (I sincerely hope) will be equipped with the tools to not only work out those confrontations but also prosper from them. 

After all, I can't be there for them when they're adults. I would be shirking my job as a parent were I to let them suffer through confrontation without learning from it. So, while it would be easier (and quieter and peaceful-er) for me to say, "Hug your brother/sister and go to your room!!!" it wouldn't help us any in the long run.

And since I'm basically lazy, I want long-term solutions, not short-term fixes. Giving my kids negotiation tools and encouraging them to empathize with each other are ways of ensuring my ability to be lazy. :)

1 comment:

  1. This post really points out how multifaceted people and relationships really are. Thanks!