Nourishing Our Children through the Grandeur of the Outdoors

I've been reading a lot lately about how kids need to get outdoors more, how this generation is starved for time with nature. So, along those lines, and because I'm always on the lookout for ways to get my kids out of my hair - um, I mean, provide the best education and environment for healthy brains and bodies - I recently made it a point to have my youngest two spend some quality time together in the clear, clean out-of-doors.

Ah, to be surrounded by nature, to smell the fresh breeze and soak up the healing rays of the sun.

To revel in the glory of the day. To bask in the warmth of the afternoon and feel the fresh breeze against your face.

What could be better for the soul and more nourishing for the mind than to spend long, tranquil moments sharing the splendor with your sibling. For, after all, the two of you share so much of your lives, and even your genetic make-up.

I delight in the knowledge that my children have been enriched by the beauty and magnificence of the breathing, living woods around us, that they have valued the luxury of having the time to spend drinking in the radiance of the day, that they have rested at night knowing that the world that surrounds them is rich with majesty and grandeur.

Uh.

Hmm.

Well, at least they enjoy their drama classes.

No vampires were harmed in the making of this movie.

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If you enjoyed this post, you might like My Understated 100th Celebration.

Decisions and Changes

All these years of pretending I'm SuperMom ... well, those years are over. I just can't pretend anymore. And with my approaching-fiftyish age (yikes!), I guess I need to admit that I just can't handle it. It. "It" being all those things that I can't handle. How's that for circular reasoning?

A couple of days ago I sent an innocent email to another homeschooling mom who asked me to tell her a little about myself, presumably to get to know me somewhat virtually and maybe make a bit of a connection. Well (cough), I think I scared the poor woman off when I started listing all the things I'm into, and frankly, I kind of scared myself. (Okay, it's not what you're thinking ... I'm not "into" anything kinky or illegal - at least not anymore. Hey, I'm a mom now.)

I was trying to give her a picture of who I was, since I have my fingers in so many pies (and that's not completely a figure of speech - just look at my butt lately). After the long list of things I volunteer for and take on, I was exhausted. What I mean is, I was exhausted just reading about them, never mind having to actually do them. I realized just how stretched I am. How I'm not doing any favors for myself, my kids, my husband, or my family.

I know there are plenty of other moms who accomplish a whole lot more than I ever will, and there are those who'll do so with a smile and a bounce in their step. But, like I said, I'm not SuperMom (be sure to say that with a booming, echoing voice). I just can't handle it like lots of other folks.

So now I'm trying to figure out the balance that works for me. I'm not quite sure what that looks like yet, but I know that I have to say "no" a lot more often. I need to figure out how to balance the needs of my kids, my husband, and my parents, along my own interests and needs. After that comes the needs of the world around me (and gosh, aren't there just a butt load of those?) and I get to pick those that I feel a connection to.

The bottom line is, I have to make some changes and some decisions. I need to volunteer to do less, and make the time that I devote to volunteering really count. I need to devote much of my energy to facilitating the education of my children, making sure they get raised up to be reasonably independent and responsible adults. I need to be committed to making my home a place where my husband and family feel nurtured and loved.

I need to do the things that make me feel whole and valuable. That's the one that's my sticking point. What do I give up? I enjoy everything I do, but I'm terribly inefficient and can't seem to manage everything I want to do. So that means I must give up something, or maybe several somethings.

You'll see some changes here on this blog. Heck, you've already seen them ... I've been virtually silent for the last several weeks. I've spent that time caring for aging parents, sitting on the couch with my husband occasionally (well, at least once, I'm sure), getting at least twenty minutes extra sleep a night, and starting my Christmas presents (that deserves a whole 'nother blog post, the whole Christmas tradition in my family). I haven't been posting.

Actually, writing is one of those things that I do all the time. Problem is, it's all in my head. Once they come up with the Mind-O-Matic - that mind transfer thing where my thoughts magically appear on the screen - I'll be all set. Until then, I'm screwed. One of my problems is that, with menopause crashing unceremoniously into my life full force - unlike all those pleasant stories I heard about women slowly sliding into a new hormonal balance - I can't remember a damned thing. I have this absolutely fabulous blog post or article written entirely in my head, and then when I sit down at the computer to write it out, this is what I remember: "Uh, kids are good, um, sleepy tired, respect, read a good book lately, uh ..."

See? I can't make heads or tails out of it either, so I'd suggest you don't even try.

In the next few weeks (hopefully), you'll see me hammer out a new plan. One that includes posting here (although not daily), lovin' on my husband (well, you won't actually see that), writing articles, homeschooling my kids, teaching a co-op class or two, taking field trips with my kids and friends, sewing, reading, and other things that fulfill me. I'm a work in progress.

Shit, I thought by this age I'd have it all figured out.

Crap.

Sunday's Gratitude Post

When life takes over and weighs me down, this refreshes me. Even with peeling paint, pet stains, torn screens, and pencil scribbles on the wall - mere blemishes on a fundamentally glorious base, the perfect representation of my life - this view rejuvenates me.

These are the doors in my bedroom, and the tree you see just outside is actually the top of a tall oak tree, as the deck here is about fifteen feet off the ground.

I've been staring out this window quite a bit lately.

Life Happens

I've been quiet lately, as some of you may have noticed. I tend to get swept up in the cycles of life. Sometimes I'll have weeks where the world bounces joyfully along, and all is easy. Other times I struggle with my own issues and inadequacies, and it takes me a while to get out of my funk.

At still other times, life steps in and changes things. Yesterday my dad had another stroke. He's recovering, and so far he's bounced back to about 80% of his normal. I'm hopeful that he'll recover much of that 20%, but only time will reveal that.

The last couple of weeks I've been preoccupied with Halloween, H and G's trip to the Appalachian Trail, my Arms and Armor class, and various other little things. For some reason, I just wanted to turn within and shut off the world. I tend to do that from time to time, and I always emerge refreshed.

This time I emerged to family crisis. Fortunately, things seem to be working out okay, but it could have been very different. I'm grateful for what I have.

As they say, "Always blessings. Never losses."

Lying Low

What is it about having my family separated that makes me so out of sorts? DH and first-born are off on the Appalachian Trail (G's 13th birthday present), leaving the two younguns and me to hold down the fort.

I've been being a homebody while they've been gone, sorting through clutter and cleaning out the attic (yikes! digging through the decade-old rat leavings is another post in itself), and I haven't been in any frame of mind to be witty, clever, or even sensical. Thus, no blog posts.

Sorry if you've missed me. (And if you haven't, well, poopy on you.)

Plus, the boys took my camera with me, so I can't even take any embarrassing or cutesy shots of the remaining kids.

I promise I'll get back to it. They're back in town by the end of the week, so things should be back to normal, or what passes as normal, by the weekend.

Sunday's Gratitude Post

Tonight I'm grateful for telephones. And internet. Telephones and internet that work. For a few days we were without our phone and internet. (Miss me?) Apparently ATT had a major break in the system somewhere and the whole neighborhood was without digital power.

I'm intrigued at the progression of my emotions: first confusion, then dismay, followed closely by outrage. (How can they possibly do this to us? Don't they know that I have blogs to follow and videos of talking cats to watch and clips of "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" to laugh at? What about all my loyal blog followers? How will they possibly survive without my witticismness and profoundosity?)

Funny, my emotions quickly ran to relief, at having an excuse not to check my email and keep up on my parenting lists. Then they went to apathy, with an almost palpable desire to stay disconnected from the world.

This is what my kids do for education when we don't have internet access.

So it was with mixed feelings that I came home to find my little brilliant green light blinking to say that all was right with the digital world.

Oh yay!

Oh darn.

Okay. Back to the real world.

An Odd Thing to Wish For

"Let's keep our fingers crossed," I said to my darling daughter. "Yes, let's," she agreed.

What grand goal were we wishing for? What distant dream?

That her annoying cough, which has had her hacking and wheezing all day, is actually swine flu.

No, I'm not a sadistic mother, waiting second by second until one of my children falls ill, so that I can stand over them with a gruesome grin on my face and a tumbler full of castor oil. No, I'm not a doctor wannabe, hovering day by day for one of my offspring to catch some horrible ailment that I can try my homemade remedies on.

I'm just pragmatic. If the kids get swine flu now while it's in a mild form, I won't have to worry about its later, more severe version. I won't have to decide to get them a new and untested vaccine. And if S gets it now, then perhaps she'll pass it on to H and G so that they can be over it before their trip to the Appalachian Trail next weekend.

So, all of you send us your best wishes, won't you? Wishes for fever, cough, achiness, vomiting, and diarrhea. Thanks a bunch.

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If you liked this post, you might enjoy Calling the Cat.

Paralyzed by Inefficiency

Won't you consider donating just a bit of your wisdom to help a poor homeschooling mom?

I need help.

Okay, I admitted it. That's the first step, isn't it?

My plate is huge and full, and I keep eating and eating and it never gets emptier. A ton of side dishes crowd the main entree (read, my family). Heck, sometimes my side dishes cover up my entree so that I have to dig it out.

What with the volunteering, the homeschooling, the writing, my parents - forget any just-for-fun "me" things - I find myself so overloaded as to be paralyzed at times. My list of to-dos is so long that I take one look at it and am stymied. I really feel like I could get a lot done if I were simply more efficient and motivated.

And on top of all that, all of the little life emergencies step in the way and push aside the things I'd planned to do, say ... oh ... sleep, for instance.

Just tonight, for example, I had planned to get to the computer and write some incredibly poignant or hilarious or witty or insightful blog post. Instead, I got waylaid by my darling middle child, who decided she wants to go camping and hiking with H and G this weekend. Great! All that means is that I have to try to find her a pack that she can comfortably carry 25 pounds in for a couple of hours - without spending any money. So I dig out my old backpack from my trip to Europe twenty years ago, and - whaddya know? - the plastic piece that holds on the shoulder straps has rotted away. I spend at least an hour trying to rig the pack (a lost cause) and end up digging out a different, way-too-big pack and loading it down to see if she can carry it.

There goes my writing time. I'm not angry about it, especially since I was doing something for my daughter with the end goal of getting her out on the trail ... indeed I was quite happy to do it. But it's just one example of how my time gets taken up by unexpected do-it-right-nows.

I know we're all busy, and I know that many of us are stressed (I'm not, unless you start asking me about my parents), but lots of folks do a vastly better job than I do at organizing their lives. How do they do it? Are they born organized? Motivated? Naturally well rested? How do they get away from the day-to-day minutiae of life: the laundry, the dishes, the scrapes, the cat puke, and the kid-argument mediation?

Here's what we already have: a housekeeper that comes every other week (not that you can tell 24 hours after she leaves), a detailed schedule for the kids to follow every school day (not that they follow it without badgering), and an incredibly supportive husband who handles way more of his share (and who never complains) ... so I'm pretty sure the problem is me.

Here's exactly what I need: some advice, a plan, or words of wisdom that will help me get over my state of inertia so that I can be productive and relaxed. I have the goals, I have the desire, I have the means, I have the ideas of all the things I want to accomplish ... I just don't have the organization.

Thanks for letting me vent. If you have any words of wisdom, please let me know!

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If you liked this post, you might enjoy Great Expectations.

I Was Right ... It IS a Conspiracy!

It's happened again ...

I don't know what went wrong. Was it because I left the door open between the laundry room and the kitchen? Was it because the refrigerator is in the same room as the microwave - within talking distance? Or maybe it's that the appliances are all texting each other or having conversations on their cell phones, much like this New York oven.

Whatever the reason, I know this to be true: they're all in cahoots. Today our microwave bit the dust.

At this rate, we'll have every household appliance replaced by next summer. Aargh.

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If you enjoyed this post, you might like The Great Machine Uprising.

Ack! I've been tagged!

I've been tagged.

Oh god, I've been tagged.

"Be strong!" my darling daughter says, hugging, then kissing me on top of my head (and then punching me in the arm while growling).

Era, my virtual friend (and after this, I use the term loosely) tagged me to make a list of "7 Reasons I Am Awesome." That was a month ago, and I've been putting it off. So let's just get this thing over with.

First, my kids' list of "7 Reasons I Am Awesome" ...

1. I have awesome kids.

2. I have an awesome cup that says, "You can't scare me. I have kids." and a give-away Star Trek glass.

3. I homeschool 3 awesome kids.

4. I'm an awesome multi-tasker: I empty the dishwasher and talk on the phone at the same time.

5. I have an awesome nickname, "Mama-Girl."

6. I hold the awesome family title of "Gross-Out Queen."

7. I play awesome games, like chase the kids, hit like a girl, the arthritic dumb giant, let's scare G, and calling the cat.

Now, for my own, not nearly so entertaining list ...

1. I'm imperfect. I'll gladly admit it to anyone who's dumb enough to stand still and listen. You might argue that that's not a reason to be "awesome," but I beg to differ. I see myself as a shining example of what not to do. Besides, who wants a perfect parent? Think of the pressure!

2. I apologize. Frequently. I make lots of mistakes, including how I parent, and I've gotten really good at apologizing. Again, I see that as setting a glorious example for my kids. Apologizing gracefully is an art, one that I've had plenty of opportunity to perfect. In all seriousness, I'm constantly amazed at how far a heart-felt apology will go when I've done something I regret. My kids are refreshingly forgiving.

3. I listen. Some of my best and most effective parenting moments have been those in which I haven't uttered a word. I'm not quite sure what that says about me, but I do feel that quite a few arguments happen because someone just wants to be heard. I truly try to listen to what my kids have to say. That's been the number one method - by far - of working out problems and disagreements around here.

4. I love to learn and try new things. That's one big reason why we homeschool. I absolutely relish learning something new right alongside my kids, whether it's through reading out loud together, traveling someplace cool, or sitting together while watching and discussing an educational video. I learn so much from - and with - my kids!

5. Closely related to #4, I'm creative and I don't mind getting my hands dirty. I have no problem with letting the kids build a Rube Goldberg machine that spans two stories of the house, scrounge scrap lumber from the garage to build a catapult, or drag out fabric, yarn, and tape to hold an egg-drop contest. I enjoy building, sewing, creating, and inventing (just not cooking). Sometimes these projects stay out for days (or weeks), but this is a kid-friendly house and I don't aspire to be in Architectural Digest.

6. I love being silly and laughing. You'll frequently find me chasing, joking, and just plain playing with the kids. Anything to get a laugh. I didn't win the title "Gross-Out Queen" for nothin'!

7. I love my family with a fire that's frightening. Woe be it to the poor soul who tries to harm one of my children (even if it's another one of my children) - the Mama Bear rages with ferocity. (I guess that's the other meaning of awesome: inspiring awe). I'm fiercely loyal to my children and my husband. There's no place I'd rather be on this earth than surrounded by them. I adore each one of them individually.

All in all, if I'm at all awesome, it's because I'm surrounded by love and joy - and people who allow me to be who I am.

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If you liked this post, you might enjoy What We Give Our Kids.

The Last Post on the Washer/Dryer Fiasco

(I think I just heard a hearty cheer from all the way over here after you read my post title!)

For those of you who have slogged with me through post after post of my washer/dryer saga, you'll be happy to know that the journey has finally come to an end. We are now the proud parents of two shiny, large overpriced appliances, snugly squeezed into our cozy laundry room.

Notice the lack of wall space on either side - just enough room for a trash can.

Of course, there's ample room behind them for single socks, hangars, coins, Jimmy Hoffa, and Iraq's WMDs.

It was four weeks ago today that my old dear machine spun its last song, and I found this washer with a gorgeous gouge on the top that allowed me to purchase it for half off. If you read the Saturday Quote for the Day from July 25th and Sunday's Gratitude Post from about 3 weeks later, you'll realize that we've been waiting for four whole dadgum weeks to get this thing installed.

Well, yesterday they finally showed up. Granted, they were two hours late, but I'm not complaining. They were here! I had the blasted shipping bolts in my hands! It was actually going to happen!

You know the first thing they said? "We don't need the shipping bolts."

Aw, dang.

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If you liked this post, you might enjoy The Great Machine Uprising.